Mr. Monkey is getting well pissed off with the attention that he is getting now around South Tyneside, I reckon that the plod is on to me and certain councillors and officers will be wanting their pound of flesh and looking to bankrupt me in the civil courts after I exposed them as being a bunch of twats.

Libel? What the fuck is that all about? Just a legal way to keep me quiet, thats what.

Once they find me I’ll be mincemeat only fit for throwing to the lions, so fuck it, I’m out of here pronto, but don’t worry folks I’ll probably pop up somewhere else in another disguise ready to blog again about the Chuckle Brothers, Vodka Lil, and Tory Boy Pudgy Potts from my wi-fi enabled laptop behind the walls of Frankland Prison perhaps.

Watch out for a further announcement on September 1st.

you appear to have come to the right place.

My name is Peter Shaw, I’m a failed butcher and businessman from East Boldon in Tyne and Wear. I managed to collapse the family business that my father grew for me, brilliant!

Butchery wasn’t working so I tried sarnies, brilliant!

That didn’t work either, so now I’m flipping burgers in my brother’s pubs, brilliant!

I love politics me, especially the nonsense that goes on in South Tyneside, I’ve been writing about our councillors and that twat Curly for years now, this isn’t my first blog you know. I started with The Northern Herald, then I moved on to The Chief Whip, The Monkey House, Mr. Monkeys Blog, and Mr. Monkeys Analyst was me too, brilliant!

I hate the Malcolms, couple of chuckle brothers, I hate everyone else in South Tyneside’s Labour Party, and I hate that pudgy faced Potts the Conservative councillor for snotty nosed Cleadon Village. Cannot stand wishy washy Liberals neither, Greens are lunatics, and don’t even bother getting me going about those fascist scum in the BNP.

Actaually theres only one lot that I love these days and that is the South Tyneside Independent Alliance, I love Jane and Ahmed, they’ll do for me, that’s why I write for them, they let me be their unofficial website, I’m like their bloody newspaper!

Now don’t get me going on about the shitty Shields Gazette, Szymanskis rag isn’t even worth putting on the nail to wipe your arse with. Anyway enough of that fat twat.

I have a very small prick that my wife has refused to suck on for the last decade, in fact I haven’t seen it over my own fat belly for longer than I care to think about, but think about it I do, a lot. Because I miss it, loads, brilliant!

Thats why I write about the sexual lives of our councillors, and I don’t care if they swing both ways or not, brilliant! Now if the fuckers don’t have a sex life, or it’s just sort of normal and boring, well I’ll just make up a new story for them, brilliant!

So enjoy yourself while your here and dont take to much notice of my spelling, I make a few mistakes from time too time, and if your in South Shields keep an eye out for me, its supposed to be a secret who I am or where I am, but if you pop into Atalntic, The Mile, or Dusk, I might just be waiting for you.